Never Trust the Italian Post!
Ok, so I think I'm officially the comic relief here. Before I step into my accepted role, I just want to say that you guys are awesome and amazing and inspiring, and I do hope that someday I lead my life to a greater purpose as you all do.
But for now, I hope to brighten your days with a few events typical of the Nora household.
Well, my little cat Bellaboo (as opposed to my gargantuan cat, Octavius, but better known as "der Panzer," or "the tank" in German) imprinted on me as her mother at a young age because I kept her locked in my room when she was a recently-discovered 3-week-old kitten so she wouldn't get eaten by above-mentioned large cat. Well, this means that sometimes she wants to bring me presents. These presents come in the form of dead animals, or, in the case of the other day, not-dead-yet animals that show some fight. Well, apparently this one (a bird) managed to get out of her reach, so she abandoned it in my room. My mom saw some fluttering when she walked by, and she figured out what happened and shut the door until we could deal with it later. She, Jack, and I never found it, so I went to bed wondering. Well, halfway through the new People magazine, the plants on top of my bookcase start rustling, so I get help so someone could open the window as I throw bird-filled plants out into freedom. My dad thought to throw a pillowcase over it to lull the bird, but it got scared and went for my mom's head. She screamed and ran, with me echoing and following on her heels. I later went back in to open windows and remove screens as my dad chased a poor, chirping, injured (as evidenced by the streak of blood and feathers on my ceiling from when it flew too high) swallow around the room with a broomstick. If I didn't feel bad for the bird (which then hid again until my dad disappeared), it would have been an even funnier sight. Unfortunately, I had to leave the windows wide open in the hopes that it would fly out on its own (it did, around 6:30), and this happened on a chilly (!) day in the midst of the 90- and 100-degree heat we've been having (I love the consistency of Chicago weather), so I got a cold. :( But I saved a bird!
In other news, the title of my post deserves some explanation. Well, I sent several packages, all in the official Italian post yellow boxes, so I was surprised when I got a huge, brown box in the mail. Upon opening it, I discovered what were (mostly) the contents of two of my yellow boxes, with some minor changes. First of all, I got some additional material, as in a Dutch soccer jersey for a player named Der Vandersloot or something like that (Jack envies it, but it's MINE, dammit), really nasty old shoes that look like a cross between wrestling and ballet shoes (and smell used), two letters in German written to "Christmas" (in which the writer wonders if Christmas is still there and if it's been busy with work for the past 3 years... Thanks to Jack for translating), and headphones (cheap airline ones from the looks of it). They also took some things (my heineken pint glass!!!!), but they did thoughtfully replace that one with two vials of dandelion extract. I shit you not. I figure I should write a letter because that was a damn hot beer glass, but it's also pretty funny, and now I'll be safe from liver, gall bladder, kidney, and joint problems while treating eczema, cancer, poor digestion, water retention, and diseases of the liver while wearing a hot soccer jersey. All thanks to those lovely little flowers, dandelions (and my thoughtful thief/christmas penpal).
- posted by the moj @ 12:49 PM